hey everyone!
i’m depressed. my 16th birthday party is friday and it feels like it’s forever away.
i have finals this week and i have C’s in two classes, one of which will probably not get better by the end of the semester. and why the fuck do i have a B+ in japanese? bitch please sensei! T_T
anyway, i’m here to rant to you about my eBay and paypal horror story. i wrote one here a while back (click to see)

for reference to the sales post, go here.
this one is about a girl who wanted a coach bucket bag. it’s tan. and wantable, i guess. she was desperate for it. i even gave her free shipping and lowered the price $40 for her. so i sell it to her, but i was super careful to take a shitful of photos AND give dimensions and pictures of the stain on the inside and emphasize its ugliness so people wouldn’t be inclined to make a return.
obviously and unfortunately, this was not the case. within a day after this bitch receives her purse, she comes crying to me about how it’s not as big as she wanted it to be and wants to return it. i calmly told her that it wasn’t my fault that she didn’t look at the dimensions properly, and that i wasn’t a store and i wasn’t going to accept returns on an item that clearly wasn’t damaged or mis-described. but she files a case.
and not just an ebay case.
a paypal case.
this is when shit goes down.
i sold the purse on 12/20/11, and she file the case 1/1/12. i called ebay on the first, the seventh, the fourteenth, and the seventeenth. the first two times they didn’t do shit and just told me someone would deal with it sooner or later.
but the fourteenth? that’s when the ultimate shit went the fuck DOWN.
so i was talking to some bullshit associate who clearly didn’t speak english as her first language and had a very small vocabulary, who told me she would ‘investigate’. blah blah she asked security questions and the like, but then this is where shit. went. down. she asked me for my birthdate. and i’m a fucktard, so i told her my real birthdate. ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. ERROR. BAD MOVE SARA. she says ‘no, i’m sorry that is not correct,’ and hangs up.
then i get an email saying that my birthdate has been confused or some shit, and that i need to verify personal information, but for now my account would be placed into limited mode. no big deal, i’ll just go to their case resolution bullshit and figure it out. one of the options was to show an ID to prove your identity.
i get my passport, scan it, and attach it in a file to paypal on my account statement.
i should have just changed the year i was born to 93 instead of 96, but i’m too fucking idiotic to do that. hell, they didn’t even ask for my birthday–just proof of my name and my address. but no. i’m a fucking lunatic piece of shit.
a few hours later, i get an email saying that paypal has verified that i am not 18, and they will be closing my account for 180 days, and that i will not be able to access my money, my bank account, or my fucking card.
since when the fuck are they allowed to pull this shit?
i freak out. hell, i’m still freaking out.
so on the seventeenth, aka today, i call and of course this friendly male voice picks up and helps me out…’helps.’ he just tells me there’s nothing i can do and it will be held for 180 days.
since i’m fucken awesome at math, i figured ‘oh, 3 months? whatever.’ but no. see, there are 30 days in a month, with the exception of 31 every other month and 29 in february (this year). he tells me,
“sorry, you will not be able to access your account until july 2012.”
WHAT THE FUCK!????????????????!??!?!!?!
BULLSHIT!
everything in my account, all $200 of it + the $100 being held for this bullshit woman who wanted this purse all along that caused this, is locked for 180 days. after 180 days i can remove it from my account, but my paypal will still be closed until i turn 18.
this wouldn’t be a huge fucking deal if i didn’t already owe my own mom $300 for selling her skirt, i think to myself.
so i create a new paypal. sneaky sneaky!
but NO. NO NO NO. i can only receive money if i start a new paypal–i can’t link it to a bank account, i can’t move it to a credit card or anything, because my only credit card and bank account is on my old paypal and i can’t move any of it because of the limit i have on it! FUCK!
so now i can only receive money. and i’m freaking the fuck out. and jackrabbit711 aka jacqueline williams, FUCKING FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING BITCH.
I CANNOT STRESS THAT THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.
I HOPE YOU LOSE THE CASE AND THAT KARMA BITES YOU IN THE VA**** AND YOU FUCKING SUFFER.
[update january 19 2012; i ended up having to send her a refund (rather, paypal pulled money form my own account and she has to send it back. not sure what’s going to happen now, about my account at least.)
you ruined shit for me.
i’m screwed. i owe my own MOM money, i’m doing shittily in school, i’m stressed out, and it’s all your fault you little fucker.
fuck you.
and fuck ebay and fuck paypal.
i can’t wait to sue your asses to satan’s house when i become a corporate lawyer.
have fun in hell, ebay and paypal.
will be updated regularly until this is sorted the fuck out.
and yes, i’m going to be linking this article to paypal and ebay every time they try to contact me.
fucking.
deal
with
it
;)
♫ sara
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